Duelling Qs

You know that the summer has officially launched the first night that my husband and our next door neighbour get together to plan and execute an elaborate BBQ meal. It's not REALLY a competition, but they sure seem to try to step up their game constantly.

This Saturday was that night. Slow smoked pulled pork shoulder with a cumin spiced coleslaw, warm rosemary grilled potato and green bean salad for the main, and three different types of grilled dessert pizzas (with some cocktails and wine thrown in)... soooo gooood!

Great friends, great food and the great outdoors...fabulous.

Selling the farm

Well, no, not really. But we ARE selling old (but good) furniture to make way for the new. We have lots of great little pieces (and other, not so great items) that were for the most part either hand-me-downs or donations scattered here and there in our home, and the way I see it is that we are a two-income professional home with more than enough to afford some nicer damn furniture! So yeah...time to transform our home bit by bit, and I am excited.

And did I mention that the work week is almost over and I will be at the Nordik scandanavian spa at this time tomorrow night? That's what I am talkin' about, people!

And...I got more of my gardening done tonight, which also feels good. I can see the spinach, the beets, the beans, the snap and snow peas, the cucumbers, the shallots, the onions all coming up, and already have great tomato and pepper plants (Of any and all variations) on the go. And lettuce! I have planted a pot with arugula and mesculin mix that are coming up alongside all my herbs. Coolness. Will take pictures soon of the garden and post. Should have taken some before shots!!!

Very low

I am tired, sad and fat. I know I should give myself a break, with two miscarriages in 6 months, but its just so sad to not even fit into a size 16 all of a sudden. I have no clothes to wear (well, that's not true - I have pregnancy clothing). My thighs rub together when I walk and I think I will have trouble chafing when it finally (ever?) gets warm. I just can't believe how bad my self-esteem is right now.

How bad is it?

As I was walking downtown today, feeling my dress being pushed against my body by the wind, my internal dialogue told me, "Just pretend you are still pregnant, and walk tall pretending, because you still look that way. If you do that, then people won't look at you as fat, but as pregnant, even though it's not true." - lovely, eh?

I hate being in these dark places. It's not an environment I am used to. But I know it is pointless to ignore the impulse - gotta get through it to get out to the other side, right?

The weekend approaches, and that is good news. Being back at work has been hard.

My secret food addiction

I truly believe it is carcinogenic, but I LOVE a certain snack food, done up lovingly with melted butter (with just a touch of vinegar added to it), drizzled carefully over the popped goodness, and then generously and patiently coated with chemicals. Yup - I love me my popcorn with flavoured sprinkles. Made of nothing but bad stuff. And I put MUCH more on it than would generally be advisable.

So yeah...I may have had a big bowl of my secret food tonight. And I may have loved every stinkin' bad for me morsel of it.

So sue me.