Caffeine buzz or feel-good "I'm gonna help fight Cancer" buzz?

Yes - I am OFFICIALLY launching my campaign to support the fight against breast cancer.  That gawd-awful C word. 

Just.

Gawd.

Awful.

On April 21, 2012, I will work out (a.k.a. exercise, dance, prance, jump, twist...) for SIX SOLID HOURS to showcase the fact that I am healthy, while others are not so lucky.  I will sweat in celebration of my charmed life and my amazing and young family. I will breathe deeply in appreciation for all the survivors, the fighters and the family members of those affected by breast cancer. And I hope, through my willingness to do this, that my friends and family will help me raise the minimum $1,000 for this all-day event!

To make it simple, I have added a button on this blog that links directly to my donation page.  You will notice that it, too, NEEDS YOUR HELP.

So. Whaddya say?  Can you give up one of this week's lattes in order to swing a 'just-as-feel-good' donation to kick-start my campaign?

*Note: Donations of $25 or more mean you are awarded the priviledge of asking me to do specific moves (think: funky chicken dance) sometime during the 6 hours.  Over $50 gives you input into hair/makeup/outfit accessories (provided they don't interfere with my team's costume choices). $100 or more....hmmmm - name it!

Let's get this party started everyone!!!!! Click on the button on my sidebar...or click here!

HOLY GUACAMOLE!

Food.  I LOVE food.  And so when my hubby and I come up with an amazing dinner, and something about it goes 'POW' in your mouth, I want to share. 

Tonight, we made fajitas.  It's an 'old standby' in our house when we are looking for tasty but healthy.  This was the view as I jammed these yummy suckers in my mouth...

The composition was as follows:

Marinated BBQ chicken breast
Sauteed red and green peppers with onion strips
whole wheat tortillas
low fat sour cream
salsa (this was homemade but whatever)
fresh cilantro
homemade guacamole
homemade 'fajita' special sauce

So, without further ado, here are the 'recipes'.

Chicken marinade (1 or 2 hours):
Olive oil
garlic
salt and pepper
fresh-squeezed lime juice
fresh chopped cilantro

Guacamole:
2 ripe avocados
fresh-squeezed juice of 1/2-full lime (to taste - I put about 3/4 of a lime via a fancy press)
chopped red onion (maybe 1/4 cup or so)
1-2 tbsp salsa
sprinkle of salt
chopped fresh cilantro (a good amount - 1/4 cup or 1/3 cup)
*Mango - tonight I added finely chopped fresh mango. OMG good...about 1/4 cup

- mash it all together et voila!

Fajita 'special' sauce
(something my hubby tossed together this afternoon that I CANNOT recommend enough!) You can char all of this on a BBQ or roast under broil in an oven, like he did this afternoon.

1 fresh poblano pepper, roasted and de-skinned
1 fresh orange pepper, roasted and de-skinned
2 cloves garlic, roasted
1 habanero pepper, roasted and de-seeded
1/4 red onion, sliced and also roasted/sauteed

- combine all the above in blender with enough olive oil to blend into nice, thick saucy consistency. Add a dash of sugar and salt and about 1/2 tblsp of white vinegar.  Ah...mazing.

Enjoy!

The Purge

It has begun. I dug out all 5 bins of clothing, and I systematically went through them in preparation for my clothing swap party on October 1.

It was hard.

On one hand, it felt SOOO GOOOD to get organized and think about (hopefully) all the very happy people who will be able to walk away from my home with arms laden with serious amounts of high-quality, name brand exercise gear, footware, business suits, golf clothes - you name it, and I have it to give away.

On the other hand?  I stared in disbelief at some of the clothes that I used to wear only 3.5 years ago.  They looked like they belonged to a teenager compared to my current attire. It was humbling, and yes, depressing. I know that I never will get back there, but then, I also recall with acute memory the sacrifices I was making back then to look like that.  It isn't sustainable.  But still....hard to let go and hard to accept the new me, in whatever shape and form that is going to be.

So here is what I think about all this. It may 'get to me' right now, but I KNOW it will feel great to have a fresh start. I KNOW that I will eventually lose this tummy (and frankly, if, after giving it a GOOD strong try, it doesn't go away, I will GET it fixed so that I can be happy about myself) and that I will find a balance where I feel healthy, strong, happy and still have time in my life for all the little treasures and pleasures that are all around us everyday.

Yes, my friends, the purge is on.  How about you - what do you have to purge from your life?

What's in a number?

You know, it MAY be arbitrary, but 200 lbs is just one of those numbers that women NEVER want to see on the scale.  And you know what?  That is ALL I have seen (I mean, 200 or MORE) on the scale since a few months before I got pregnant with the twins.

And now?

Well, this morning I was 202.5 on the scale.  The day before, I was 204.8.  I had a good day of eating today and another swim (following the 8.4 km jog I did on Wednesday night - WOOT!!!). 

So.

I MAY just be on the precipice of seeing that damn 200 vanish to be replaced by a 1 followed by other numbers.  I might cry if that happens.  It's a big deal to me.  And yeah, by the end of the day, I might be up over that again, but that's fine - the trend is where it should be...DOWN.

I'm proud of myself. This isn't easy. I've been very down about myself, and very grumpy about giving over my little free time to exercise when all I want is to REST.

I'll keep you posted, but just had to say it - there is LOT riding on this number for me.  It's loaded, and significant, and whether it should be or not, it's gotta go.

And it's gonna go.  SOON.

One week in - a Me2MILF update

Great start.  Fantastic week.  Feel so very very good already.  Monday night, beach volleyball.  Wednesday night, indoor volleyball tryout where I illustrated to myself (a highly critical judge) that I'm not that far off where I used to be and just have to drop a few pounds, work on my vertical, and get some practice in to become the player I used to be. Thursday was another swimming night (I really love being back in the pool again) where I squeezed in 94 laps before the swim time ended - we got there a bit late. And then Friday was my first jogging excursion with Kerry, my very excellent teacher and good friend.  Jogging is MUCH more pleasant when you start slow in intervals and chat with a friend at the same time.  Just saying.

In the move, I don't know where our tape measure is to gauge the size of my tummy, but visually, it has already undergone a BIG change. I am so very very very very very happy to see a change this early. This stomach is the single most important physical protrusion I need to see eliminated in this effort. If I recall (have to go back a few posts), I started at 47" around. Will hopefully post the updated measurement soon. 

Weight-wise, I am down about 5-7 lbs, depending on my eating, hydration level and time of day. There will be a big celebration when I get back down under 200.  Have a ways to go on that one, but you will certainly hear about it when it happens!!!

Hubby has gone out jogging separately too, two times, and feels better when he goes also.  On one hand, I love that when I get moving, he tends to follow suit.  On the other, I sometimes wish I had a guy that motivates ME to stay really active.  But, you know, it's nice having someone who knows how to chill and is laid back sometimes too.  I just need to be a little less easily influenced, and stay on the influencer side of things, right?

In any event, the journey continues to figure out the way to work in mommy fit time. So far, I'm still motivated to head out in the evenings and give up my TV and relaxation time, but I also know I have some obligations to take care of, like I STILL have thank you cards to send out for baby gifts. That's nuts and so I need to make some time for that.  Next week's schedule: Monday, jogging. Tuesday, swimming. Wednesday, another volleyball team tryout. Thursday, swimming. Friday, jogging. Weekend, one more jog. 

That's a lot of activity, folks.  If I can do that, and stick to some good portion control and reasonable food, I should be golden.

How are you feeling these days?

So far - a Me2MILF update

A slowish start...

I mean, technically I am here on the blog and NOT jogging - some of you may have been wondering (?) - but here's the deal.

I played beach volleyball last night.  I didn't totally suck (at the level I was playing).  I missed several overhand serves before I finally mustred enough power to get a serve over the net. I usually passed well, I generally set up my teammates well for hitting, and I myself got a couple of ok hits in and a number of hits that were 'just fine'. Not smashes, but hits, where my feet left the ground (slightly).  But I also hurt a bone or tendon or something in my foot (doh) and when I got into bed last night, I could barely move my right shoulder and certainly couldn't sleep on it. However I ate reasonable portions and only had a ceasar at the bar after the match (while others had wings and nachos.  VERY BIG DEAL for me to have avoided that boobytrap).

Today was another jaunt (yeah, cause that's what I do with two babies - jaunt) to the mall - the New Balance store to be exact - in another (my 4th) attempt to find runners to fit my crazy feet.  Didn't have my size in several of the options, and nothing did it for me, so now I must wait for the sizes to be shipped in.  Still don't know if they will fit, but at least there are a couple possibilities.  I get the pleasure, in the meantime, of returning the two pairs I have already purchased, at two separate locations of course, and trying to start this jogging journey using an old pair of runners that I had bought well before my pregnancy, that used to be too big (but certainly aren't anymore).  I think they are cross-trainers too...

So, when my gal pal Kerry messaged to tell me she wasn't up for mushy rain jogging, I was ready to jump at the chance to give up on tonight.  I frankly didn't know how I was going to run in my current condition.  Oh, and did I mention that the captain of the volleyball team considering me for their roster 'found' gym time tomorrow night, and so I have to suit up to try out for the team?  WAAAAAAAAH!  Finding this out led to a call I had to place to said captain to, uh, give her a 'heads up' about what she was going to see when I walked through the gym. 

I hated making that call. 

It's embarrasing to have to apologize for yourself before you even arrive or do anything, but the reality is that the captain, and one of her teammates, know of me only Before Twins, and thus would be shocked to see me now. I felt like they needed to know, in advance, where I am at, what is my plan, and what was the story behind all this.  The conversation went well, and I think I conveyed to her clearly that I really just need someone to give me a chance, and I know I'll be right back at it. I've conquered my weight before and I will do it again.

So.  Tomorrow is another day, the shoulder will have had some rest and we will see how the foot will perform tomorrow. I get to use those same cross trainers mentioned above (my volleyball shoes are way too small now) to play in, so that's not ideal, and I have no idea where my volleyball pads are.  Sigh.  Guess I better get off here and go foraging!

Me2MILF

Ok, so now that I've got the 'woe is me' craptacular piss-fest off my chest, this is the week, my friends.  This is the week that I get back on the beach volleyball court (tomorrow night - gulp), start to jog - relying on another friend who 'gets' how hard this will be - and continue on my swimming all in an effort to turn all this around. Yeah, it may only be at half-steam (or less) because by the time 8pm rolls around, I'm exhausted and want to relax on the couch, hit that PVR list button, and sip on a good glass of wine, but it's the only time I have, and I'm going to make it work and just see what happens.

I've been somewhere approximating here before, you know.  Those that didn't know me 3 years ago (holy crap - has it been that long already?) will not know that for 2.5 years prior to that, I was a Greco Lean & Fit diehard. I started at about 25lbs overweight, lost 29lbs in 10 weeks and then just kept going, working out three times a week for many many months.  I looked and felt great.

This time? I'm, uh, well, let's see now.  I don't think I should set a goal to EVER be that light again - not realistic and much of it was based on major dietary sacrifices, and let's be clear - I WILL NOT GIVE UP WINE NOR DELICIOUS FOOD and certainly not permanently. So let's say I am about 35-40lbs away from an ideal weight for my age/time of life. Another major difference? A gap in my stomach muscles that I need to correct, and if not possible to reduce through exercise, then perhaps surgically. And finally?  I happen to have no time for leisurely workouts, based on someone else's calendar schedule, and led by awesome trainers.  I have a very late time slot and it means I will essentially skip all free evening time, speed through dinner and get to bed later than my normal time. I'm gonna do it, 'cause that's what it's gonna take.

So when I can, I will post updates.  Yes, I happen to have a before shot of my torso, and will spare you that shot until I have a good comparison to put up against it, okay? (you are most welcome)  I will also be posting on the Losing It in Ottawa Facebook page, and on my Twitter account - this will keep me motivated and accountable.  I welcome and and all help, words of encouragement, and even mild chastising if the situation warrants, okay?  Look for the #losingitottawa hashtag, and for my newly adopted mantra #Me2MILF hashtag.

Maybe one of these days I'll get the 'looks' again...