Starting over - Another round of breastfeeding training

So this morning I took my daughters to an appointment at the hospital with an ear, nose, throat doctor who specializes in frenectomies. That is, she snips the little band of skin under the tongues of certain babies who have what they have nicknamed 'tongue-tie'.

First, can I just say that getting them fed, cleaned up, MOMMY cleaned up, packed up and out the door in time for a morning appointment is suicide with one person?  I got er' done, but we were a few minutes late, needless to say...

Back to the procedure.  A teeny bit traumatizing.  Blood coming out of your babies' mouths is never fun to see.  They were upset. I could only hold one baby to breastfeed/soothe at a time. Thankfully I had Daddy with me (good call Mommy!) and eventually we got them settled down.

Now the fun really begins...again.

By again, I mean that I feel like we have a clean slate again and it's time to give it one last college try to get my milk in at the level I need, get my two little girls feeding on the breast almost exclusively (I will never eliminate the bottle completely - are you crazy?  A little potential freedom is necessary my friends!!!), and see if we can get to the point where I can tandem feed.  This little last point is a biggie. 

Why?  Well, because when you are by yourself at home, there are inevitably many times during the day when both girls are fussy and hungry at the same time. It is not fun to know that you are picking and choosing which babies to make happy first, and leaving the other to cry.  Not fun at all.  I'd understandably like to eliminate this from my daily diet.

Now, a few hours after the procedure, I have an inconsolable baby on my hand.  Both, actually, have been highly fussy, but I'm being rejected by poor little Hailey, and in fact, she won't take a bottle either.  Nothing in her mouth at all, actually.  She's angry, she's upset, she's red and blotchy and has tears streaming down her face - she's fed up.  Just totally over being poked, prodded and cut. Mommy feels rejected, helpless and unable to help her baby. It's been a long afternoon...

Thank god for Daddy who came home, calmly rocked her, soothed her and has, after a good chunk of quiet time (and a little bit of baby Tylenol), succeeded in getting her to take the bottle I had prepared a good hour ago...She's taking it now, and I can feel the tension seeping out of my shoulders. Man, I am emotional these days...

This breastfeeding stuff, I have already said, is the hardest job I have ever taken on in my life.

I hope tomorrow is better, and every day after that is better and better. I really want this to work...

Cat got your tongue, or just tied it up?

The challenges, trials and learning continue re: breastfeeding my little girls.  The latest challenge now is tongue-tie.  Yup...we think little Hailey may also (on top of her crazy first month of life and her ongoing struggles with reflux or aspiration or whatever is going on inside her little body) have an issue with her latch/sucking ability.

This means that all my efforts to bring in my milk enough for two, put them both on the breast and satisfy them is not truly working.  And the worst part is that not only is there an issue with Hailey not getting enough milk when she sucks, but also with her ability to help Mommy cultivate more milk.

So.  More strategy.  We are heading to another La Leche League free multiples breastfeeding group meeting tomorrow, hosted by my excellent lactation consultant, Beth, to have her have another look-see.  Then we have a meeting with our family doctor on Thursday. (OK, correction, we have our 2 month appointment for the girls, and all parents know what this means...it's vaccine day.  NOT looking forward to this.  Two upset babies.  Ugh.  Not to mention sticking my precious littles.  But it has to be done, and compared to what we saw Hailey go through...) With our family doctor, we will further determine how to proceed, but likely we will want to fix this issue asap, or else have to continue with the status quo.  On top of this, my birth doula will be stopping in on Friday and she can also have a look.  That's three professional opinions.  I should have figured out by then what we are going to do.

What is the status quo? Well, it is an effort each morning until about 1 or 2pm to feed both girls exclusively on the breast.  This deteriorates throughout the morning into crankiness on the parts of both girls, but particularly Hailey, who doesn't feed well, delatches when there is good letdown, and gives up when the milk slows down. Breastfeeding Moms know that this means she gets mostly foremilk.  ALSO not good. 

Round about 1:30pm or so, I generally prepare a bottle of 1/2 breastmilk (pumped the night before, throughout the night, instead of sleeping through with the girls) 1/2 formula to tide her over.  I also have to give Alex a supplement of formula to make her happy.  It works, but it is certainly not ideal.

Yes, people, the whole breastfeeding thing is a challenge.  A massive one with twins.  I am on more medication (various pillls like domperidone, and herb capsule of fenugreek etc. plus pregnancy vitamins, iron supplements...) than I have ever been at any point in time in my life, to bring in milk. I have an elaborate system I have had to work out for breastfeeding, supplementing, sterilizing bottles, etc. and as mentioned, sacrifice sleep regularly in order to fulfill the goal.

And I have come to terms with this.  My girls have gotten a LOT of breastmilk.  They continue to get MOSTLY breastmilk. I may have been disappointed with this - heavy hearted even - before, but now? I'm mostly proud, actually.  I'm doing pretty darn well, given the background story we've been living. And what I have learned about breastfeeding could fill a damn book at this point.  It's nutso.

I'll keep you posted as to whether or not Hailey has to once again have a medical procedure done. She's an old hand at it...what's another small operation, right? (a really small one).

Any of you deal with tongue-tie? What was your experience?