Lots of laughs. Lots of smiles. Lots of happiness. Life is good.
That is all.
Here is what that looked like:
And then the ball cap came out...
Showing posts with label The twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The twins. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A great play day
Daddy stayed home today. We had no showings, thus the house was our own (not that we want no showings, mind you, but...silver linings, you know). We had FUN.
Lots of laughs. Lots of smiles. Lots of happiness. Life is good.
That is all.
Here is what that looked like:
And then the ball cap came out...
Lots of laughs. Lots of smiles. Lots of happiness. Life is good.
That is all.
Here is what that looked like:
And then the ball cap came out...
Sunday, May 1, 2011
6 Months - Solid fun
First, a quick update on the 'togetherness' project. MOST nights, it's a success. They go to sleep easily, they sleep through the night, and yeah...they wake each other up at the same time in the morning. However...it has proven not to be TOO much of an issue, as at least one is more progressed in their hunger than the other, and I can usually satisfy one hungry tummy before the next is begging for nourishment. That said, the toughest challenge has been the fact that their schedule is so close for the rest of the day! There have been a few too many instances without Daddy around of 'baby bird nest', where I feel like I only have one worm but two wailing beaks...and that's not fun. But I guess that's the way twins are. When Daddy or a second adult are around, it's a breeze, and fun, and when I'm alone with them, it's generally great, but admittedly challenging, and sometimes upsetting and frustrating. And there have been a couple of rocky nights, and instances of one setting off the other, which is hectic when it happens - especially in the middle of the night.
However. My babies are SIX MONTHS OLD, people! Holy cow, how did THAT happen? Just yesterday we gave them rice cereal, their first solid food, ever. They gulped it down like pros. My little Alex is emulating Mommy and 'chewing' when I am eating now, reaching for the food I have in my hands. Hailey, my picky milk drinker, had no trouble whatsoever with the food. So cool. So momentous. So....ah hell...upsetting! I want my babies to stay babies! Does anyone ever talk about the push/pull feelings moms go through as their children grow? Especially when they know it is their last kick at that can? It's crazy!
Here, a couple shots and a video of Hailey and her meal (Alex's photos are on the big camera, and I haven't had a chance to download and reduce their size):
Lots of fun times, change and adventure on the horizon, my friends - and sometimes, it's gonna be messy!
However. My babies are SIX MONTHS OLD, people! Holy cow, how did THAT happen? Just yesterday we gave them rice cereal, their first solid food, ever. They gulped it down like pros. My little Alex is emulating Mommy and 'chewing' when I am eating now, reaching for the food I have in my hands. Hailey, my picky milk drinker, had no trouble whatsoever with the food. So cool. So momentous. So....ah hell...upsetting! I want my babies to stay babies! Does anyone ever talk about the push/pull feelings moms go through as their children grow? Especially when they know it is their last kick at that can? It's crazy!
Here, a couple shots and a video of Hailey and her meal (Alex's photos are on the big camera, and I haven't had a chance to download and reduce their size):
Lots of fun times, change and adventure on the horizon, my friends - and sometimes, it's gonna be messy!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Togetherness
The big experiment began on Friday night, the start of an extra long weekend for our family. What was the experiment? Reuniting our two little babies to sleep in the same room. Seems crazy, and very much counter to what I had, from the time I found out we were going to have twins, envisioned, but just because of circumstances, we have alway slept Hailey and Alexandra in different rooms. Whether it was because Hailey was just out of the hospital and on a strict 3 hour schedule, or because Alex could be really loud and we thought there was no way Hailey would sleep through the cacaphony, the biggest reason was that I just didn't want both babies waking each other up all the time, at the same time. This is because I never did succeed at getting them both to breastfeed, and so tandem feeding is not possible, meaning that one of the girls will always have to wait while the other gets her meal, and that just didn't seem like a pleasant way to start our day, ya know? Screaming babies tend to put a damper on the festivities.
So what has happened in the last three nights? Exactly what we predicted - they both get each other up at the same time every morning. And so, today, on the eve of hubby going back to work, I face the reality that starting tomorrow I will be juggling two hungry babies every morning at the same time. Time will tell how that will go, but I guess the babies will eventually just have to learn that life just isn't cushy and gratification isn't instant in our world. A good lesson, I suppose, but a little hairy for Mom to teach.
But. They are together now. They can chat in the morning (eventually) and take comfort in knowing the other is always nearby.
So sweet.
So what has happened in the last three nights? Exactly what we predicted - they both get each other up at the same time every morning. And so, today, on the eve of hubby going back to work, I face the reality that starting tomorrow I will be juggling two hungry babies every morning at the same time. Time will tell how that will go, but I guess the babies will eventually just have to learn that life just isn't cushy and gratification isn't instant in our world. A good lesson, I suppose, but a little hairy for Mom to teach.
But. They are together now. They can chat in the morning (eventually) and take comfort in knowing the other is always nearby.
So sweet.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Way back when...
Things are moving so fast. I want to slow them down. I'm excited by the new developments and dream of all the cool things the twins will soon be able to do, but just indulge me for a moment as I go backwards. I have a slight cold, thus my slight tip toward nostalgia.
The other day, I downloaded photos and videos from our very high-tech and lovely videocamera. I love this camera. So easy to use. However...not so easy to figure out how to format, edit and reduce the size of the videos, so videos will not be posted today. That said, the video camera takes photos. The photos downloaded included many from the day the babies were born.
What do I remember from that day? Panicky fear, extreme jubilation, rising trepidation, fuzzy snapshots of activity, the feel of my baby in my arms and against my chest, the feeling of having my other baby held at arm's length and taken away, helpless to change that fact. I can't even begin to describe the kaleidoscope of emotions that day conjures up.
Here, a few snapshots from that day.
There's nothing more to say. This momentous day will forever be etched in my deepest places, and although these shots are all of my little Alex, both of my little girls are my heart and my soul. I am so very very blessed.
The other day, I downloaded photos and videos from our very high-tech and lovely videocamera. I love this camera. So easy to use. However...not so easy to figure out how to format, edit and reduce the size of the videos, so videos will not be posted today. That said, the video camera takes photos. The photos downloaded included many from the day the babies were born.
What do I remember from that day? Panicky fear, extreme jubilation, rising trepidation, fuzzy snapshots of activity, the feel of my baby in my arms and against my chest, the feeling of having my other baby held at arm's length and taken away, helpless to change that fact. I can't even begin to describe the kaleidoscope of emotions that day conjures up.
Here, a few snapshots from that day.
There's nothing more to say. This momentous day will forever be etched in my deepest places, and although these shots are all of my little Alex, both of my little girls are my heart and my soul. I am so very very blessed.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hitting my stride
As a new Mom you get totally sick of hearing the following phrase: "It gets so much easier when they hit 3 months old!".
Well, I'm here to tell you it is totally true! My girls are so friggin' fun now - they are observant, grasping onto things, crying less, eating well, laughing and giggling aaaaaand......SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Rare is the night when either of them wakes up to eat, and if they do, you can tell they are going through a growth spurt, and you may benefit from lots of extra sleep through the daytime as a result.
So...all you new Mamas out there? Just hold on! It gets better....
Unless, of course, you are some of the lesser group of poor Moms who have a colicky baby or one that just simply doesn't sleep well. I know some of them, and I don't know how they do it.
But then, I hear women say those words directed at me, and I feel like I am really lucky and have great babies. It's not even all that hard right now. And really? I cannot WAIT until they can sit up and play with each other.
Some new things they do:
Well, I'm here to tell you it is totally true! My girls are so friggin' fun now - they are observant, grasping onto things, crying less, eating well, laughing and giggling aaaaaand......SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Rare is the night when either of them wakes up to eat, and if they do, you can tell they are going through a growth spurt, and you may benefit from lots of extra sleep through the daytime as a result.
So...all you new Mamas out there? Just hold on! It gets better....
Unless, of course, you are some of the lesser group of poor Moms who have a colicky baby or one that just simply doesn't sleep well. I know some of them, and I don't know how they do it.
But then, I hear women say those words directed at me, and I feel like I am really lucky and have great babies. It's not even all that hard right now. And really? I cannot WAIT until they can sit up and play with each other.
Some new things they do:
- They smile IMMEDIATELY when you smile at them.
- They grasp onto things easily and don't always let go.
- They look at each other and smile or giggle; and
- They laugh - especially, it seems, when they see each other or themselves in the mirror. (We got video of this yesterday with Hailey and love it. Such an amazing memory to capture, even if we only caught the tail end of it on video - it took me so much by surprise, since it was her first full on laugh, and it lasted a good minute! Too cute.)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
New strategies, tough choices, mixed emotions
I have decided I have had enough of having my sweet and good-natured baby turn into a screaming mess at my breast. It's time to throw in this towel and have more and better feedings with calm connection and smiles. Thus, with a bit of a heavy heart, I have decided it's time to take my little Hailey off of breastfeeding and keep it to bottles only. Mommy is admittedly sad about this but it's just causing too many challenges and stressing us both out to continue. So with that said, I now am committed to another few months of nighttime pumping, sacrificing uninterrupted sleep so that she can have a mix of breastmilk and formula, since I just really want to try make it to 6 months breastfeeding and/or giving breastmilk to them.
Alex, however, is still a great feeder, so I am able to at least breastfeed her.
But you know what? I just love seeing my little sweetheart looking up at me, drinking heartily, and smiling while sucking her bottle. Surely that is still bonding, and is far better than pleading, manipulating, squirming and crying (by both parties) all in an effort to breastfeed?
I certainly think so.
Alex, however, is still a great feeder, so I am able to at least breastfeed her.
But you know what? I just love seeing my little sweetheart looking up at me, drinking heartily, and smiling while sucking her bottle. Surely that is still bonding, and is far better than pleading, manipulating, squirming and crying (by both parties) all in an effort to breastfeed?
I certainly think so.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Have babies, will travel
It's on, baby. We will be heading down to Arizona to visit grandma and grandpa this spring. Multiple planes with multiple babies. Hubby flying down with the three of us, then flying back home, then flying down again for a few days, then flying back again with the three of us. Are we nuts? Am I crazy? I think I may be, but I also think the trade-off (sunshine, swimming, hiking, seeing my parents) will ultimately be worth it.
Worth what? Well, time will tell, but for starters, getting these two little goobers passports! Not easy when your babies don't even sit up yet! It was so funny dragging them to the mall after a recent outing to a friend's baby baptism. They were tired and getting hungry. Not a great combo for plunking them into a bumbo, holding them in place and expecting them to look with rapt attention at the camera! I only hope the shots won't be rejected, which, by some accounts, happens fairly often with infant photos??? Egad, I don't want to do that again, and frankly, we won't have time, so cross your fingers for us. How did the shots turn out, you may wonder? Hilarious! So funny! And yes, almost identical. But ya know...Mommy can spot the difference!
Other issues we need to work out:
What to bring, and what Grandma and Grandpa can scrounge up for us. Things like: cribs/playpens, pump rentals (still on the fence about how much longer I want to get up throughout the night to pump and supply extra breastmilk...just how long do I want to do this, I keep asking myself?), strollers, bouncy chairs, etc. I think they have scrounged a few items already, but more to work out. Trying to avoid taking any large items save for the car seats.
What we can/can't take with us without another charge - i.e. how many bags will they allow, what extras will they charge for, should/can we check out car seats safely or bring them to the gate with us (and then, correspondingly, what the heck do we do with all the carry on luggage plus car seats when we have to change planes and get to another terminal etc. as well as carry both babes)
What I can/cannot take onto the plane in terms of bottles, formula, breastmilk, water and food for Mommy etc. We currently use concentrated liquid formula and I always mix it with breastmilk...what is going to be allowed without delaying us or causing all sorts of issues? Can I take some icewater to stay properly hydrated (I hate warm water)? Can I bring proper snacks instead of being forced to buy fast food (although frankly? I'm all over fast foods and sugery goodness at any time these days, but it's not the best choice, even if I AM burning more calories each day with breastfeeding).
Am I going to get grief from the flight attendants for breastfeeding or bottle feeding the babies on takeoff and landing to ease the pressure transition issues? I heard there is a real contradiction in terms of the position you have to hold them in vs. how hard it is on their ears if they aren't swallowing something...
What to pack for the time of year down there (but then, that's the ongoing issue for Arizona) because it can be really warm during the day and cold at night, but also because we have to pack for the four of us now, and Mommy's body is insane right now, so clothes don't fit her...(yeah, I'm refering to myself in the third person. Doing that far too often these days, I've noticed.)
What did you other Mommies do? What tips do you have for me? Any recent experience out there?
Luckily there are fantastic people on Twitter like @hvbabywilltrvl and their amazing site with great advice on traveling with babies and toddlers. So many great articles and travel lists to help us get organized. It's a start, anyways!
Ah.....on a day that started with strong biting wind and ended with heavy snowfall, I think we're crazy not to go. Sunshine and tumbleweeds (and pools, tennis, golf and mountain hiking) here we come!!!
Worth what? Well, time will tell, but for starters, getting these two little goobers passports! Not easy when your babies don't even sit up yet! It was so funny dragging them to the mall after a recent outing to a friend's baby baptism. They were tired and getting hungry. Not a great combo for plunking them into a bumbo, holding them in place and expecting them to look with rapt attention at the camera! I only hope the shots won't be rejected, which, by some accounts, happens fairly often with infant photos??? Egad, I don't want to do that again, and frankly, we won't have time, so cross your fingers for us. How did the shots turn out, you may wonder? Hilarious! So funny! And yes, almost identical. But ya know...Mommy can spot the difference!
Other issues we need to work out:
What to bring, and what Grandma and Grandpa can scrounge up for us. Things like: cribs/playpens, pump rentals (still on the fence about how much longer I want to get up throughout the night to pump and supply extra breastmilk...just how long do I want to do this, I keep asking myself?), strollers, bouncy chairs, etc. I think they have scrounged a few items already, but more to work out. Trying to avoid taking any large items save for the car seats.
What we can/can't take with us without another charge - i.e. how many bags will they allow, what extras will they charge for, should/can we check out car seats safely or bring them to the gate with us (and then, correspondingly, what the heck do we do with all the carry on luggage plus car seats when we have to change planes and get to another terminal etc. as well as carry both babes)
What I can/cannot take onto the plane in terms of bottles, formula, breastmilk, water and food for Mommy etc. We currently use concentrated liquid formula and I always mix it with breastmilk...what is going to be allowed without delaying us or causing all sorts of issues? Can I take some icewater to stay properly hydrated (I hate warm water)? Can I bring proper snacks instead of being forced to buy fast food (although frankly? I'm all over fast foods and sugery goodness at any time these days, but it's not the best choice, even if I AM burning more calories each day with breastfeeding).
Am I going to get grief from the flight attendants for breastfeeding or bottle feeding the babies on takeoff and landing to ease the pressure transition issues? I heard there is a real contradiction in terms of the position you have to hold them in vs. how hard it is on their ears if they aren't swallowing something...
What to pack for the time of year down there (but then, that's the ongoing issue for Arizona) because it can be really warm during the day and cold at night, but also because we have to pack for the four of us now, and Mommy's body is insane right now, so clothes don't fit her...(yeah, I'm refering to myself in the third person. Doing that far too often these days, I've noticed.)
What did you other Mommies do? What tips do you have for me? Any recent experience out there?
Luckily there are fantastic people on Twitter like @hvbabywilltrvl and their amazing site with great advice on traveling with babies and toddlers. So many great articles and travel lists to help us get organized. It's a start, anyways!
Ah.....on a day that started with strong biting wind and ended with heavy snowfall, I think we're crazy not to go. Sunshine and tumbleweeds (and pools, tennis, golf and mountain hiking) here we come!!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
A little closer now
Haven't blogged much lately - spending a lot of time during the days playing/interacting with my now smiling and gurgling little miracles. What fun they are! The winter may be forcing us to stay indoors (a fact that only SOMETIMES drives me batty), but there's lots of book reading, rattling, dancing, and bicycle legs happening instead.
As the girls approach the big three month mark (this Wednesday!), I snapped a few lovely shots of my little ladies - and got nice n close.
Here is a sampling, alternating shots of each girl...know who is who? (hint: the first baby is Alex...)
As the girls approach the big three month mark (this Wednesday!), I snapped a few lovely shots of my little ladies - and got nice n close.
Here is a sampling, alternating shots of each girl...know who is who? (hint: the first baby is Alex...)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Bin 790 - A Mommy Review
So let's talk about something other than the babies. Well, kinda. Because the only reason I even tasted Bin 790 food is because we had babysitters for the night - our first night out without the babies - and we wanted a nearby restaurant to hit, which in fact was plan B, since I am still dying to see Harry Potter, but the damn thing isn't playing on the weekends anymore. Boo.
But I digress. Bin 790, from a Mommy's perspective? Great get away night restaurant. Fabulous ambiance. Small intimate tables (not great for large groups - in fact, impossible with so few tables). Okay, well, this Mommy had a tough time finding room on her table for the requisite iPhone display area!
Some cool things about the restaurant are that it is a Spanish Tapas restaurant, it has a good wine list and even a selection of wine flights (although no Spanish flights - I would have liked to see that). They had an excellent Spanish Tempranillo/Cab Sauv blend that I ordered by the glass, and they accomodated that even though it wasn't offered by the glass. And, they even had one of my fave desserts - sticky toffee pudding - on offer!
The service was excellent, the prices tolerable (not cheap or overly expensive) and this particular Mom managed to occasional talk about something other than her babies.
However she did NOT succeed in keeping her photos of the babies to herself...the waiter we had has now seen quite a few of them...
So. I give this restaurant 4.5 out of 5 soothers. They lost points only on the slightly uncomfortable seats, a bit of a draft from the door where we sat, and because their Spanish wine list was a little lacking.
For the record, we had the following dishes:
Zambuca shrimp - yummy, creamy, sweet. 5 large shrimp
Bacon wrapped beef tenderloin - sooo good. 4 little bites with a bit of salad on the side
Green curry mussels - good portion size, very buttery and garlicy sauce, but in my books, that's great
Pulled pork areta - one of the best items on the menu; excellent
Ham croquetas - two of them, and delish!
And of course, the 790 antipasto platter. Very frustrated that I forgot to get the names of the cheeses and one of the meats they served us. Wanted to be able to look for them for our own presentation some day. May still ask...
In writing this post, I found this blog...looks to be an awesome source of recipes and info about tapas...
Although we loved our meal, and even had dessert, we were home within 2 hours, and when I took my daughter Alex into my arms, she promptly fell alseep, all cuddly-like. Tapa-what?
But I digress. Bin 790, from a Mommy's perspective? Great get away night restaurant. Fabulous ambiance. Small intimate tables (not great for large groups - in fact, impossible with so few tables). Okay, well, this Mommy had a tough time finding room on her table for the requisite iPhone display area!
Some cool things about the restaurant are that it is a Spanish Tapas restaurant, it has a good wine list and even a selection of wine flights (although no Spanish flights - I would have liked to see that). They had an excellent Spanish Tempranillo/Cab Sauv blend that I ordered by the glass, and they accomodated that even though it wasn't offered by the glass. And, they even had one of my fave desserts - sticky toffee pudding - on offer!
The service was excellent, the prices tolerable (not cheap or overly expensive) and this particular Mom managed to occasional talk about something other than her babies.
However she did NOT succeed in keeping her photos of the babies to herself...the waiter we had has now seen quite a few of them...
So. I give this restaurant 4.5 out of 5 soothers. They lost points only on the slightly uncomfortable seats, a bit of a draft from the door where we sat, and because their Spanish wine list was a little lacking.
For the record, we had the following dishes:
Zambuca shrimp - yummy, creamy, sweet. 5 large shrimp
Bacon wrapped beef tenderloin - sooo good. 4 little bites with a bit of salad on the side
Green curry mussels - good portion size, very buttery and garlicy sauce, but in my books, that's great
Pulled pork areta - one of the best items on the menu; excellent
Ham croquetas - two of them, and delish!
And of course, the 790 antipasto platter. Very frustrated that I forgot to get the names of the cheeses and one of the meats they served us. Wanted to be able to look for them for our own presentation some day. May still ask...
In writing this post, I found this blog...looks to be an awesome source of recipes and info about tapas...
Although we loved our meal, and even had dessert, we were home within 2 hours, and when I took my daughter Alex into my arms, she promptly fell alseep, all cuddly-like. Tapa-what?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Trippy Dippy Times
Day trips, date nights, and even intercontinental travel - it's all beginning to happen!
Aside from the fact that I try, as much as possible, to get the three of us out of the house regularly, it has to be said that it's an energy draining exercise! Take today's expedition, for example. A first trip out to the office. So proud to introduce my girls to my coworkers and that of my husband. Such a proud poppa. Such a proud momma. Such a peaceful, sedate and special time...
Yah, it was special alright! Let's see. Poop bombs, monumental spit-ups, leaky boobs (yes, really, I forgot the breast pads, and ended up with a very dark, wet circle over my right boob) and a special - there's that word again - trip to the store by my coworkers to buy (yes, buy) a new outfit for the second twin, since the first had soiled her original outfit so bad that she already took the backup clothes and left nothing for the Spitup Queen. And that was just at MY former office...
What have I learned? That my diaper bag, although great, will not house all the supplies I need for a day trip. Also...I need to take a look at myself before I leave the house and make sure, you know, that I won't have obvious and strange side-effects visibly prevalent to all around me at awkward times. Aaand...perhaps it was ambitious to try hit two offices on the same day when I still have issues with breastfeeding and satisfying my little sweethearts.
I also infered - quite correctly I'm sure - that travel of a more elaborate nature will require some HEAVY planning. Such as the trip down to Arizona to visit Grandma and Grandpa this spring. I'm going to start thinking about how to coordinate and plan for it all now! Got tips? Know of websites that help? I know they exist...
Also of note...and speaking of getting out...tomorrow night is the first night I will be without either or both of my babies for any time - it's DATE NIGHT and we have a friend and her daughter coming over to babysit. A big moment. Wonder what that will feel like? What did it feel like the first time you left your baby home with a sitter/family member?
Trippy, I bet!
Aside from the fact that I try, as much as possible, to get the three of us out of the house regularly, it has to be said that it's an energy draining exercise! Take today's expedition, for example. A first trip out to the office. So proud to introduce my girls to my coworkers and that of my husband. Such a proud poppa. Such a proud momma. Such a peaceful, sedate and special time...
Yah, it was special alright! Let's see. Poop bombs, monumental spit-ups, leaky boobs (yes, really, I forgot the breast pads, and ended up with a very dark, wet circle over my right boob) and a special - there's that word again - trip to the store by my coworkers to buy (yes, buy) a new outfit for the second twin, since the first had soiled her original outfit so bad that she already took the backup clothes and left nothing for the Spitup Queen. And that was just at MY former office...
What have I learned? That my diaper bag, although great, will not house all the supplies I need for a day trip. Also...I need to take a look at myself before I leave the house and make sure, you know, that I won't have obvious and strange side-effects visibly prevalent to all around me at awkward times. Aaand...perhaps it was ambitious to try hit two offices on the same day when I still have issues with breastfeeding and satisfying my little sweethearts.
I also infered - quite correctly I'm sure - that travel of a more elaborate nature will require some HEAVY planning. Such as the trip down to Arizona to visit Grandma and Grandpa this spring. I'm going to start thinking about how to coordinate and plan for it all now! Got tips? Know of websites that help? I know they exist...
Also of note...and speaking of getting out...tomorrow night is the first night I will be without either or both of my babies for any time - it's DATE NIGHT and we have a friend and her daughter coming over to babysit. A big moment. Wonder what that will feel like? What did it feel like the first time you left your baby home with a sitter/family member?
Trippy, I bet!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Starting over - Another round of breastfeeding training
So this morning I took my daughters to an appointment at the hospital with an ear, nose, throat doctor who specializes in frenectomies. That is, she snips the little band of skin under the tongues of certain babies who have what they have nicknamed 'tongue-tie'.
First, can I just say that getting them fed, cleaned up, MOMMY cleaned up, packed up and out the door in time for a morning appointment is suicide with one person? I got er' done, but we were a few minutes late, needless to say...
Back to the procedure. A teeny bit traumatizing. Blood coming out of your babies' mouths is never fun to see. They were upset. I could only hold one baby to breastfeed/soothe at a time. Thankfully I had Daddy with me (good call Mommy!) and eventually we got them settled down.
Now the fun really begins...again.
By again, I mean that I feel like we have a clean slate again and it's time to give it one last college try to get my milk in at the level I need, get my two little girls feeding on the breast almost exclusively (I will never eliminate the bottle completely - are you crazy? A little potential freedom is necessary my friends!!!), and see if we can get to the point where I can tandem feed. This little last point is a biggie.
Why? Well, because when you are by yourself at home, there are inevitably many times during the day when both girls are fussy and hungry at the same time. It is not fun to know that you are picking and choosing which babies to make happy first, and leaving the other to cry. Not fun at all. I'd understandably like to eliminate this from my daily diet.
Now, a few hours after the procedure, I have an inconsolable baby on my hand. Both, actually, have been highly fussy, but I'm being rejected by poor little Hailey, and in fact, she won't take a bottle either. Nothing in her mouth at all, actually. She's angry, she's upset, she's red and blotchy and has tears streaming down her face - she's fed up. Just totally over being poked, prodded and cut. Mommy feels rejected, helpless and unable to help her baby. It's been a long afternoon...
Thank god for Daddy who came home, calmly rocked her, soothed her and has, after a good chunk of quiet time (and a little bit of baby Tylenol), succeeded in getting her to take the bottle I had prepared a good hour ago...She's taking it now, and I can feel the tension seeping out of my shoulders. Man, I am emotional these days...
This breastfeeding stuff, I have already said, is the hardest job I have ever taken on in my life.
I hope tomorrow is better, and every day after that is better and better. I really want this to work...
First, can I just say that getting them fed, cleaned up, MOMMY cleaned up, packed up and out the door in time for a morning appointment is suicide with one person? I got er' done, but we were a few minutes late, needless to say...
Back to the procedure. A teeny bit traumatizing. Blood coming out of your babies' mouths is never fun to see. They were upset. I could only hold one baby to breastfeed/soothe at a time. Thankfully I had Daddy with me (good call Mommy!) and eventually we got them settled down.
Now the fun really begins...again.
By again, I mean that I feel like we have a clean slate again and it's time to give it one last college try to get my milk in at the level I need, get my two little girls feeding on the breast almost exclusively (I will never eliminate the bottle completely - are you crazy? A little potential freedom is necessary my friends!!!), and see if we can get to the point where I can tandem feed. This little last point is a biggie.
Why? Well, because when you are by yourself at home, there are inevitably many times during the day when both girls are fussy and hungry at the same time. It is not fun to know that you are picking and choosing which babies to make happy first, and leaving the other to cry. Not fun at all. I'd understandably like to eliminate this from my daily diet.
Now, a few hours after the procedure, I have an inconsolable baby on my hand. Both, actually, have been highly fussy, but I'm being rejected by poor little Hailey, and in fact, she won't take a bottle either. Nothing in her mouth at all, actually. She's angry, she's upset, she's red and blotchy and has tears streaming down her face - she's fed up. Just totally over being poked, prodded and cut. Mommy feels rejected, helpless and unable to help her baby. It's been a long afternoon...
Thank god for Daddy who came home, calmly rocked her, soothed her and has, after a good chunk of quiet time (and a little bit of baby Tylenol), succeeded in getting her to take the bottle I had prepared a good hour ago...She's taking it now, and I can feel the tension seeping out of my shoulders. Man, I am emotional these days...
This breastfeeding stuff, I have already said, is the hardest job I have ever taken on in my life.
I hope tomorrow is better, and every day after that is better and better. I really want this to work...
Monday, January 10, 2011
Connectivity and cool people
So a few weeks ago I caught a tweet from a twitter contact that said something to the effect of "I'm in the Christmas spirit. I will give a free photo shoot to the first person who replies."
To which I, of course, replied..."am I too late?"
This woman, @cornPuppies on Twitter, agreed to come to our home (house call !) and take family shots of the four of us using natural light. All I can say is WOW. She took some incredible shots, and even one or two flattering shots of my husband and/or I - a feat that not many people can claim they have managed!!! What's really incredible is that she just loves photography as a hobby and doesn't want to move into any sort of paying gig, so this is sheerly for her fun - and our very appreciative benefit!
I have added some of the shots to the photo slideshow on this blog, but here are a couple faves:
More to come, as she is willing to come again and again to snap some photos as desired. I will surely take her up on this.
I cannot understate how beneficial it has been, for a variety of reasons, to be connected to wonderful people on social networks. It amazes me that anyone would NOT be on here, meeting great brains, lovely comedians, local artisans and personalities, and friends. It's truly a rewarding experience.
To which I, of course, replied..."am I too late?"
This woman, @cornPuppies on Twitter, agreed to come to our home (house call !) and take family shots of the four of us using natural light. All I can say is WOW. She took some incredible shots, and even one or two flattering shots of my husband and/or I - a feat that not many people can claim they have managed!!! What's really incredible is that she just loves photography as a hobby and doesn't want to move into any sort of paying gig, so this is sheerly for her fun - and our very appreciative benefit!
I have added some of the shots to the photo slideshow on this blog, but here are a couple faves:
More to come, as she is willing to come again and again to snap some photos as desired. I will surely take her up on this.
I cannot understate how beneficial it has been, for a variety of reasons, to be connected to wonderful people on social networks. It amazes me that anyone would NOT be on here, meeting great brains, lovely comedians, local artisans and personalities, and friends. It's truly a rewarding experience.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Insights for the New Mom Series - Anxiety
So, although not overtly intended to be advice, a lot of my recent posts could easily serve to help new expectant mothers (and especially mothers of multiples) prepare for what is to come. I thought that here and there I would expressly write posts that detail experiences that I imagine can be universal, or unexpected, or issues that can crop up that would have been good to know beforehand.
Such as...anxiety.
I just never really gave much thought to how I would feel after the babies arrived in terms of stress or facing the challenges. I DID worry about post-partum depression, but other than that, you just think "It'll be hard but so wonderful to finally be a Mom!". But here's the thing. I bet even the most experienced former babysitters who thought they would be 'naturals' at child-rearing have experienced anxiety in the early days.
What do I mean by anxiety? I mean a full-on panicky feeling onset by a lack of sleep, fear of what lies ahead (like a long sleepless night when you are already exhausted, for instance), or feeling overwhelmed and knowing that there will be NO MORE relaxing, long sleeps or freedom from having a baby to worry about. Yes, you are ecstatic to have successfully given birth to a (hopefully) healthy baby, but you have to face the emotions that you will feel when deprived of sleep, overwhelmed at the tasks ahead, and feeling like it won't end anytime soon.
And, I have to say, that these feelings come in full partnership with guilt for even thinking this way, and cause a LOT of stress that both you and your baby feel...and...it will affect your breast milk production. A vicious circle.
But it gets better. Don't think about the distant future. Just think about the hour to come and how the babies are happy and healthy and doing fine, and so are you. Try to relax and know you are doing a good job. Try to get help so that you can take a bath, or catch a nap, or go for a walk to get some fresh air.
Relaaaaaaaaax.
And if you can't relax that night, then know that it gets easier, you get more accustomed to being a Mom, and yes, you will actually start to enjoy the demands placed on you and feel more than competent to handle them.
Eventually.
Such as...anxiety.
I just never really gave much thought to how I would feel after the babies arrived in terms of stress or facing the challenges. I DID worry about post-partum depression, but other than that, you just think "It'll be hard but so wonderful to finally be a Mom!". But here's the thing. I bet even the most experienced former babysitters who thought they would be 'naturals' at child-rearing have experienced anxiety in the early days.
What do I mean by anxiety? I mean a full-on panicky feeling onset by a lack of sleep, fear of what lies ahead (like a long sleepless night when you are already exhausted, for instance), or feeling overwhelmed and knowing that there will be NO MORE relaxing, long sleeps or freedom from having a baby to worry about. Yes, you are ecstatic to have successfully given birth to a (hopefully) healthy baby, but you have to face the emotions that you will feel when deprived of sleep, overwhelmed at the tasks ahead, and feeling like it won't end anytime soon.
And, I have to say, that these feelings come in full partnership with guilt for even thinking this way, and cause a LOT of stress that both you and your baby feel...and...it will affect your breast milk production. A vicious circle.
But it gets better. Don't think about the distant future. Just think about the hour to come and how the babies are happy and healthy and doing fine, and so are you. Try to relax and know you are doing a good job. Try to get help so that you can take a bath, or catch a nap, or go for a walk to get some fresh air.
Relaaaaaaaaax.
And if you can't relax that night, then know that it gets easier, you get more accustomed to being a Mom, and yes, you will actually start to enjoy the demands placed on you and feel more than competent to handle them.
Eventually.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Cat got your tongue, or just tied it up?
The challenges, trials and learning continue re: breastfeeding my little girls. The latest challenge now is tongue-tie. Yup...we think little Hailey may also (on top of her crazy first month of life and her ongoing struggles with reflux or aspiration or whatever is going on inside her little body) have an issue with her latch/sucking ability.
This means that all my efforts to bring in my milk enough for two, put them both on the breast and satisfy them is not truly working. And the worst part is that not only is there an issue with Hailey not getting enough milk when she sucks, but also with her ability to help Mommy cultivate more milk.
So. More strategy. We are heading to another La Leche League free multiples breastfeeding group meeting tomorrow, hosted by my excellent lactation consultant, Beth, to have her have another look-see. Then we have a meeting with our family doctor on Thursday. (OK, correction, we have our 2 month appointment for the girls, and all parents know what this means...it's vaccine day. NOT looking forward to this. Two upset babies. Ugh. Not to mention sticking my precious littles. But it has to be done, and compared to what we saw Hailey go through...) With our family doctor, we will further determine how to proceed, but likely we will want to fix this issue asap, or else have to continue with the status quo. On top of this, my birth doula will be stopping in on Friday and she can also have a look. That's three professional opinions. I should have figured out by then what we are going to do.
What is the status quo? Well, it is an effort each morning until about 1 or 2pm to feed both girls exclusively on the breast. This deteriorates throughout the morning into crankiness on the parts of both girls, but particularly Hailey, who doesn't feed well, delatches when there is good letdown, and gives up when the milk slows down. Breastfeeding Moms know that this means she gets mostly foremilk. ALSO not good.
Round about 1:30pm or so, I generally prepare a bottle of 1/2 breastmilk (pumped the night before, throughout the night, instead of sleeping through with the girls) 1/2 formula to tide her over. I also have to give Alex a supplement of formula to make her happy. It works, but it is certainly not ideal.
Yes, people, the whole breastfeeding thing is a challenge. A massive one with twins. I am on more medication (various pillls like domperidone, and herb capsule of fenugreek etc. plus pregnancy vitamins, iron supplements...) than I have ever been at any point in time in my life, to bring in milk. I have an elaborate system I have had to work out for breastfeeding, supplementing, sterilizing bottles, etc. and as mentioned, sacrifice sleep regularly in order to fulfill the goal.
And I have come to terms with this. My girls have gotten a LOT of breastmilk. They continue to get MOSTLY breastmilk. I may have been disappointed with this - heavy hearted even - before, but now? I'm mostly proud, actually. I'm doing pretty darn well, given the background story we've been living. And what I have learned about breastfeeding could fill a damn book at this point. It's nutso.
I'll keep you posted as to whether or not Hailey has to once again have a medical procedure done. She's an old hand at it...what's another small operation, right? (a really small one).
Any of you deal with tongue-tie? What was your experience?
This means that all my efforts to bring in my milk enough for two, put them both on the breast and satisfy them is not truly working. And the worst part is that not only is there an issue with Hailey not getting enough milk when she sucks, but also with her ability to help Mommy cultivate more milk.
So. More strategy. We are heading to another La Leche League free multiples breastfeeding group meeting tomorrow, hosted by my excellent lactation consultant, Beth, to have her have another look-see. Then we have a meeting with our family doctor on Thursday. (OK, correction, we have our 2 month appointment for the girls, and all parents know what this means...it's vaccine day. NOT looking forward to this. Two upset babies. Ugh. Not to mention sticking my precious littles. But it has to be done, and compared to what we saw Hailey go through...) With our family doctor, we will further determine how to proceed, but likely we will want to fix this issue asap, or else have to continue with the status quo. On top of this, my birth doula will be stopping in on Friday and she can also have a look. That's three professional opinions. I should have figured out by then what we are going to do.
What is the status quo? Well, it is an effort each morning until about 1 or 2pm to feed both girls exclusively on the breast. This deteriorates throughout the morning into crankiness on the parts of both girls, but particularly Hailey, who doesn't feed well, delatches when there is good letdown, and gives up when the milk slows down. Breastfeeding Moms know that this means she gets mostly foremilk. ALSO not good.
Round about 1:30pm or so, I generally prepare a bottle of 1/2 breastmilk (pumped the night before, throughout the night, instead of sleeping through with the girls) 1/2 formula to tide her over. I also have to give Alex a supplement of formula to make her happy. It works, but it is certainly not ideal.
Yes, people, the whole breastfeeding thing is a challenge. A massive one with twins. I am on more medication (various pillls like domperidone, and herb capsule of fenugreek etc. plus pregnancy vitamins, iron supplements...) than I have ever been at any point in time in my life, to bring in milk. I have an elaborate system I have had to work out for breastfeeding, supplementing, sterilizing bottles, etc. and as mentioned, sacrifice sleep regularly in order to fulfill the goal.
And I have come to terms with this. My girls have gotten a LOT of breastmilk. They continue to get MOSTLY breastmilk. I may have been disappointed with this - heavy hearted even - before, but now? I'm mostly proud, actually. I'm doing pretty darn well, given the background story we've been living. And what I have learned about breastfeeding could fill a damn book at this point. It's nutso.
I'll keep you posted as to whether or not Hailey has to once again have a medical procedure done. She's an old hand at it...what's another small operation, right? (a really small one).
Any of you deal with tongue-tie? What was your experience?
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Enough with the photos, right?
So I finally had a few minutes to finally figure out how to create a Flickr feed onto the blog, set up a page exclusively for the slideshow, and upload photos to my Flickr page. This will mean that I don't have to post a million photos to my main page posts, but you can see all the latest shots on the latest photos tab on the top right of this blog.
It's still not fancy coding or design - one of these days I will take some training and do a much better job of this - but it's still cool and new and a better way to showcase my new and beautiful little family...
Do you have tips for me? I know there are ways to upload photos from my mobile phone to Flickr? How does one do that? One day I hope to have time to figure that out too...
In the meantime, hope you like it!
It's still not fancy coding or design - one of these days I will take some training and do a much better job of this - but it's still cool and new and a better way to showcase my new and beautiful little family...
Do you have tips for me? I know there are ways to upload photos from my mobile phone to Flickr? How does one do that? One day I hope to have time to figure that out too...
In the meantime, hope you like it!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
On lotteries and life
Seemed an appropriate title, given that today, thanks to a great contact found on Twitter, we had a free photo shoot with a lovely local photographer. Its just one of the amazing experiences I have gleaned from this little microblogging site, and I cannot understate the role it had in my life in 2010.
And what a year it was. All one has to do is read my blog this past year to know that this was hands down the most eventful, monumental, exceptional years of my life, and one that rocked the foundation upon which the prior 37 years had been based.
But it's all good, people, it's ALL GOOD.
Because, as painful and heartbreaking as the year was, it was also the most beautiful, and it culminated in the arrival of our delicioius twin girls, Alexandra and Hailey. Life at its most incredible, and most fragile, was illustrated to us. Life at its most resilient and death-defying, was also illustrated. And through it all, we have a new and healthy family.
This year also crystalized for me my awareness of the incredible community of family and friends we have backing and supporting us as we tackle life's unique challenges. What can be said about this support except that we are very, very fortunate people. As far as I am concerned, we have won the global lottery where we are and with what we have. It's not overstated or sentimental; it is fact.
And so...while I don't have a lot of time to summarize what has happened, I can flash back to this time, and know that moving forward it will make me appreciate the incredible moments that are already stacking up.
My only wish is that others have such experiences. Happy New Year everyone...may it be wondrous, new, and ground-breaking, as ours will be.
And what a year it was. All one has to do is read my blog this past year to know that this was hands down the most eventful, monumental, exceptional years of my life, and one that rocked the foundation upon which the prior 37 years had been based.
But it's all good, people, it's ALL GOOD.
Because, as painful and heartbreaking as the year was, it was also the most beautiful, and it culminated in the arrival of our delicioius twin girls, Alexandra and Hailey. Life at its most incredible, and most fragile, was illustrated to us. Life at its most resilient and death-defying, was also illustrated. And through it all, we have a new and healthy family.
This year also crystalized for me my awareness of the incredible community of family and friends we have backing and supporting us as we tackle life's unique challenges. What can be said about this support except that we are very, very fortunate people. As far as I am concerned, we have won the global lottery where we are and with what we have. It's not overstated or sentimental; it is fact.
And so...while I don't have a lot of time to summarize what has happened, I can flash back to this time, and know that moving forward it will make me appreciate the incredible moments that are already stacking up.
My only wish is that others have such experiences. Happy New Year everyone...may it be wondrous, new, and ground-breaking, as ours will be.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The first Noel
What can you say when all your dreams come true, and then you celebrate on your favourite day of the year? Just...awesome.
Yes, this year's Christmas was amazing. Certainly I got some great gifts and we ate well (take a look at my hubby's white chocolate creme brulee made from scratch - it is seriously better than any I have had in restaurants...), but the real element of sparkle came from having two healthy, cute and very very special little girls in our life now. That, and spending the entire day with Grandma and Grandpa was an extra special bonus, as they are normally down in Arizona this time of year. (We won't discuss the fact that they are leaving soon to head down to where the sun shines every single day...it's going to be so hard for all of us, and Skype will be our friend so that the connection is still there).
Yes, we have an amazing community of support around us, and are so lucky. So very lucky.
Here are a couple shots of the girls in their various Christmas-themed outfits. It takes your breath away to see them sometimes, they are so cute. (Photos don't do them justice - they take after their Mama in that respect - MUCH better in person!)...
Yes, this year's Christmas was amazing. Certainly I got some great gifts and we ate well (take a look at my hubby's white chocolate creme brulee made from scratch - it is seriously better than any I have had in restaurants...), but the real element of sparkle came from having two healthy, cute and very very special little girls in our life now. That, and spending the entire day with Grandma and Grandpa was an extra special bonus, as they are normally down in Arizona this time of year. (We won't discuss the fact that they are leaving soon to head down to where the sun shines every single day...it's going to be so hard for all of us, and Skype will be our friend so that the connection is still there).
Yes, we have an amazing community of support around us, and are so lucky. So very lucky.
Here are a couple shots of the girls in their various Christmas-themed outfits. It takes your breath away to see them sometimes, they are so cute. (Photos don't do them justice - they take after their Mama in that respect - MUCH better in person!)...
Friday, December 17, 2010
Alluring, Intriguing, Diverse
Am I boring you?
I honestly don't know if I will talk about anything other than Motherhood and my twin girls ever again. I feel like there is nothing else to talk about (and honestly, in my little world right now, there honestly isn't anything else), but that I MUST be driving everyone batty. I mean, just look at the onslaught of photos I have been posting here. Interesting to quickly look at, but kinda one-dimentional, no?
Just randomly thinking about when, if ever, I will be interesting again, and have something else to say.
Until then...it's gonna be posts about breastfeeding, poopy diapers, and two special angels who are the nucleus of my life right now. Hope you are okay with that...
I honestly don't know if I will talk about anything other than Motherhood and my twin girls ever again. I feel like there is nothing else to talk about (and honestly, in my little world right now, there honestly isn't anything else), but that I MUST be driving everyone batty. I mean, just look at the onslaught of photos I have been posting here. Interesting to quickly look at, but kinda one-dimentional, no?
Just randomly thinking about when, if ever, I will be interesting again, and have something else to say.
Until then...it's gonna be posts about breastfeeding, poopy diapers, and two special angels who are the nucleus of my life right now. Hope you are okay with that...
Monday, December 13, 2010
All about Alex - a.k.a. The Nipple Ninja
In all the hubub about Hailey and her stint in CHEO (almost seems like a dream, that first month, already), I have always had it in my head that I want to write a great blog post about our 'first born', Miss Alexandra. After all, for the first days after birth, she was an extension of me - in my arms, on my boob or within eyeshot at all times. She, while keeping me somewhat sleepless, was what kept me sane in those first days, and even now, she may have a strong personality and provide plenty of challenge, but she is strong (over 8 1/2 pounds already) and sweet and, um, a voracious eater.
Yes, my friends, Alex is cute as all hell, but feeding her has, from the beginning, kept this new Mom on her toes (or curling her toes, more precisely). Very early on we dubbed her the Nipple Ninja, and boy does she earn that moniker.
The first 72
Let's go back in time shall we? You have by now all read my account of the intense abdominal gas pains I suffered after the c-section? No? Well, it's a great read my friends - very elegant time of my life, let me tell you!
What that post didn't cover off is the first forays into breastfeeding. What I have learned about breastfeeding, folks, could fill many pages. All babies are different, of course, but you can expect I will write some sage words eventually about the entire experience with tips for new moms and especially moms of twins. But until then, let's discuss Alex on the boob (I'm sure later in life, she will love to know I wrote this).
Alex, from the start, knew how to suck. Anything. Hard. Even today, she attacks anything that comes close to her mouth with the fervour of a water-deprived man lost in the desert. She doesn't wait with an open mouth, close, and then suck...no...she sets her sights on the target and the minute there is contact, she's off and running. That mouth continues to suck long after items are taken away. And if you stick your finger in her mouth, you may have a burst blood vessel or it may turn purple.
So what did this do to my virgin nipples? Tore them wide open my friends. Like shards of glass being raked across the underside of the tender vessels, it took only one day for Alex to draw blood from one nipple and seriously risk the health of the other, even with all the nurses and lactation consultants' assistance. It was quite the introduction to breastfeeding, and I laugh at the thought of the books upon books I read in preparation for breastfeeding. Thought I had a good handle on things. HA.
Today, it's still comical to put her up to my boobs. It's a bit of a dance we do, Mommy waiting to see the mouth start to open, and Alex ready to pounce and begin the fight for milk immediately. Quite funny to see how I have to shove her into place and mash her into the boob all in the name of self-protection. But. She has no trouble eating.
Some shots of Alex from that time:
Chaotic environments do not breed happy babies
So yes, the first three days in the hospital were a nightmarish dream, but we got through it together, and although my milk didn't come in for four days and my little one was starving (it's insane to realize how biologically this all works - this is normal???), I was using a nipple shield and pumping like the dickens to try make things happen. Then, we (three of us) went home. And by home, I mean mostly CHEO. Actually, upon discharge, we went over there instead of home. A sign of things to come.
Alex was a trooper. For a full month she was carted back and forth between CHEO and my parents' place, loaded into her car seat, sleeping in her stroller bassinette, dragged over to The General for jaundice testing (yup - dealt with that too). We definitely got our money's worth out of our City Select stroller, which never missed a day with us. Good thing that babies don't see that far in front of their faces - what a dull, boring start to her life, those visually uninspiring hospital rooms!
How did this all affect her? Well, for one, Mommy was exhausted and stressed, there was no real schedule to speak of, and I truly believe she was missing her sister. She seemed to be very unhappy unless in the arms of one of either Mommy, Daddy, Grandma or Grandpa, and many a day ended up in the arms of the NICU nursing staff as I was trying to spend time with Hailey, and needed a break from her demands.
In that first two weeks, Alex, who started very sweetly, became at times inconsolable, staying up sometimes for 8 or more hours in a stretch, screaming for something, but we didn't know what. Turns out the stress, exhaustion and rough start meant that slowly my milk was decreasing. My little girl was getting hungrier and hungrier.
Let me tell you everyone, it's a very bad feeling indeed to know that you have been starving your child. The stress and the guilt is immense, and you feel so damn powerless to control any of it.
Thus, we were forced to supplement with formula. Hard not to see this as a failure, but I'm hard on myself sometimes... What happened next was yet another hiccup/learning in this crazy road. We started OVER feeding her! As aforementioned, Miss Alex loves to eat. Anything. And doesn't seem to stop when she's full. So then, we had yet another inconsolable baby with gas and stomach pains from overeating! Thank god we figured that out and then scaled back. Now, we have discovered what is a normal amount for her size and try to hold her to that as much as possible, although it is still a crapshoot when you don't know how much milk you have in your breast, then supplement. But it seems to be working...mostly!
Moving out of the hospital and into Grandma and Grandpa's house, and shots of our times at CHEO all together:
Chapter Four
And so here we are today, on December 11, a little over 5 weeks since the babies were born, and we have finally moved home. We did extensive renovations on our home, a new leather sectional and new shutter blinds were delivered and installed while we were living elsewhere, and we have our babies home with us.
Alex is cosily ensconced in her new crib in the nursery, and has slept VERY well since we got home - a sign that she knows the bruhaha is done? Time will tell, but she looks lovely tucked up in there, dim lighting keeping her company and her proud parents resting comfortably downstairs on the new leather sofa. Sister Hailey is sleeping softly in her crib in our bedroom (the two girls are on very different feeding schedules and methods with very different sleeping habits at the moment, so we figured this would work best for now - we'll see moving forward what we want to do).
So Mommies - what have your experiences been with breastfeeding? What personalities did your little ones have at first, and did those personalities continue to develop along the same vein, or did they change over time? Just curious...
Yes, my friends, Alex is cute as all hell, but feeding her has, from the beginning, kept this new Mom on her toes (or curling her toes, more precisely). Very early on we dubbed her the Nipple Ninja, and boy does she earn that moniker.
The first 72
Let's go back in time shall we? You have by now all read my account of the intense abdominal gas pains I suffered after the c-section? No? Well, it's a great read my friends - very elegant time of my life, let me tell you!
What that post didn't cover off is the first forays into breastfeeding. What I have learned about breastfeeding, folks, could fill many pages. All babies are different, of course, but you can expect I will write some sage words eventually about the entire experience with tips for new moms and especially moms of twins. But until then, let's discuss Alex on the boob (I'm sure later in life, she will love to know I wrote this).
Alex, from the start, knew how to suck. Anything. Hard. Even today, she attacks anything that comes close to her mouth with the fervour of a water-deprived man lost in the desert. She doesn't wait with an open mouth, close, and then suck...no...she sets her sights on the target and the minute there is contact, she's off and running. That mouth continues to suck long after items are taken away. And if you stick your finger in her mouth, you may have a burst blood vessel or it may turn purple.
So what did this do to my virgin nipples? Tore them wide open my friends. Like shards of glass being raked across the underside of the tender vessels, it took only one day for Alex to draw blood from one nipple and seriously risk the health of the other, even with all the nurses and lactation consultants' assistance. It was quite the introduction to breastfeeding, and I laugh at the thought of the books upon books I read in preparation for breastfeeding. Thought I had a good handle on things. HA.
Today, it's still comical to put her up to my boobs. It's a bit of a dance we do, Mommy waiting to see the mouth start to open, and Alex ready to pounce and begin the fight for milk immediately. Quite funny to see how I have to shove her into place and mash her into the boob all in the name of self-protection. But. She has no trouble eating.
Some shots of Alex from that time:
Chaotic environments do not breed happy babies
So yes, the first three days in the hospital were a nightmarish dream, but we got through it together, and although my milk didn't come in for four days and my little one was starving (it's insane to realize how biologically this all works - this is normal???), I was using a nipple shield and pumping like the dickens to try make things happen. Then, we (three of us) went home. And by home, I mean mostly CHEO. Actually, upon discharge, we went over there instead of home. A sign of things to come.
Alex was a trooper. For a full month she was carted back and forth between CHEO and my parents' place, loaded into her car seat, sleeping in her stroller bassinette, dragged over to The General for jaundice testing (yup - dealt with that too). We definitely got our money's worth out of our City Select stroller, which never missed a day with us. Good thing that babies don't see that far in front of their faces - what a dull, boring start to her life, those visually uninspiring hospital rooms!
How did this all affect her? Well, for one, Mommy was exhausted and stressed, there was no real schedule to speak of, and I truly believe she was missing her sister. She seemed to be very unhappy unless in the arms of one of either Mommy, Daddy, Grandma or Grandpa, and many a day ended up in the arms of the NICU nursing staff as I was trying to spend time with Hailey, and needed a break from her demands.
In that first two weeks, Alex, who started very sweetly, became at times inconsolable, staying up sometimes for 8 or more hours in a stretch, screaming for something, but we didn't know what. Turns out the stress, exhaustion and rough start meant that slowly my milk was decreasing. My little girl was getting hungrier and hungrier.
Let me tell you everyone, it's a very bad feeling indeed to know that you have been starving your child. The stress and the guilt is immense, and you feel so damn powerless to control any of it.
Thus, we were forced to supplement with formula. Hard not to see this as a failure, but I'm hard on myself sometimes... What happened next was yet another hiccup/learning in this crazy road. We started OVER feeding her! As aforementioned, Miss Alex loves to eat. Anything. And doesn't seem to stop when she's full. So then, we had yet another inconsolable baby with gas and stomach pains from overeating! Thank god we figured that out and then scaled back. Now, we have discovered what is a normal amount for her size and try to hold her to that as much as possible, although it is still a crapshoot when you don't know how much milk you have in your breast, then supplement. But it seems to be working...mostly!
Moving out of the hospital and into Grandma and Grandpa's house, and shots of our times at CHEO all together:
Chapter Four
And so here we are today, on December 11, a little over 5 weeks since the babies were born, and we have finally moved home. We did extensive renovations on our home, a new leather sectional and new shutter blinds were delivered and installed while we were living elsewhere, and we have our babies home with us.
Alex is cosily ensconced in her new crib in the nursery, and has slept VERY well since we got home - a sign that she knows the bruhaha is done? Time will tell, but she looks lovely tucked up in there, dim lighting keeping her company and her proud parents resting comfortably downstairs on the new leather sofa. Sister Hailey is sleeping softly in her crib in our bedroom (the two girls are on very different feeding schedules and methods with very different sleeping habits at the moment, so we figured this would work best for now - we'll see moving forward what we want to do).
So Mommies - what have your experiences been with breastfeeding? What personalities did your little ones have at first, and did those personalities continue to develop along the same vein, or did they change over time? Just curious...
Monday, December 6, 2010
What's the word on the beach, you ask?
Oh, how I miss my blog! As I sit here at my parents' dining room table, I have one baby not sleeping and starting to fuss in her playpen, another being fed with dual effort of Dad and Grandpa, and Grandma trying to get dinner going. What am I doing? Well, I am trying to cluster-pump to try get ahead of the game, as each 3 hour period, I try to fit in feeds to little Alex, as well as pump enough for Hailey's feeds. I have been playing catch-up ever since they used all my frozen stores at CHEO for her overnight feeds. It's stressful, since I absolutely HAVE to pump a minimum of a certain amount each 3 hours, and the stress has sometimes limited my supply (not to mention lack of sleep, lack of food and not always hydrating enough).
I will say this about that...breastfeeding is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Bar none. It's worth it, but boy...with twins, it's a crazy, crazy never-ending job.
On Friday, December 3, exactly one month after the twins' birth, Hailey was released from the CHEO hospital. It was a long day, as the night before was a bad night for babies in the Ottawa area, and what was a relatively calm NICU became over-booked with new admissions. This meant that morning 'rounds', where all the amazing medical staff (dieticians, resperatory technicians, nurses, pediatricians, neonatologists, etc.) review each case and discuss the treatment plans for the next 24 hours took an incredibly long time. It also meant that the pediatrician who had to go through our Hailey's files for her release could not get to it until late in the day. It was a long, chaotic day. In fact...a long chaotic month, which I do believe has heavily affected Alex. More on Alex to come.
So yes. Hailey was released, and by all accounts her recovery was remarkable. The previous post that outlined her surgery reveals how extensive the abdominal reconfiguration was, and the fact that our only challenge in the end was to get her to gain weight through feeds is incredible. One of these days I will chart the timeline and put it down to see the whole picture, but it is all testament to the incredible work of Hailey herself, but the incredible CHEO staff. On our departure, we left behind a big gift basket filled with sweets and chocolates to make their shifts a bit better over the next few days, but nothing can truly compensate for what they did to save my little one's life. Such an incredible team of selfless and loving people I have never met. What they do is so hard, yet it makes such a massive difference.
Now, for the first time ever, we are back at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and I haven't had to go ANYWHERE for the last two days. It feels GREAT to just be here, in the moment. Later this week we begin the move back to our home in Kanata and by the weekend, we will finally be in our home. It will still be really hard, but it will be normal. Gawd I love the sound of that.
And who knows? Maybe I will be able to blog once in a blue moon, if all the stars align and I have a free moment.
Thanks to everyone for all their support, love, prayers and congratulations. What a ride!
Here are a few shots from our last day:
New socks for both Hailey and for Alex (outfits came later, but ultimately, Hailey ended up in a fresh sleeper. There was, uh, an incident, let's call it, with Grandpa on the scale which we were using as a change table...) Can you tell who is who?
Dylan the dragon and some friends all packed up and ready to go.
Grandma in the isolation room (our 'hotel' room over the final three days where this Mom was trying to ensure Hailey got enough nourishment to grow and gain weight in order to go home).
Mommy holding Hailey just before her release.
Hailey loaded into her car seat for her first trip out of the hospital - the air is good there, but fresh is best!!!
Daddy ready to roll with both his little girls.
What all parents of CHEO babies pray for...
And when we got home, Mommy gave Hailey her first bath, then wrapped her in her duckie blanket. The heart melts...
Ahhh....
I will say this about that...breastfeeding is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Bar none. It's worth it, but boy...with twins, it's a crazy, crazy never-ending job.
On Friday, December 3, exactly one month after the twins' birth, Hailey was released from the CHEO hospital. It was a long day, as the night before was a bad night for babies in the Ottawa area, and what was a relatively calm NICU became over-booked with new admissions. This meant that morning 'rounds', where all the amazing medical staff (dieticians, resperatory technicians, nurses, pediatricians, neonatologists, etc.) review each case and discuss the treatment plans for the next 24 hours took an incredibly long time. It also meant that the pediatrician who had to go through our Hailey's files for her release could not get to it until late in the day. It was a long, chaotic day. In fact...a long chaotic month, which I do believe has heavily affected Alex. More on Alex to come.
So yes. Hailey was released, and by all accounts her recovery was remarkable. The previous post that outlined her surgery reveals how extensive the abdominal reconfiguration was, and the fact that our only challenge in the end was to get her to gain weight through feeds is incredible. One of these days I will chart the timeline and put it down to see the whole picture, but it is all testament to the incredible work of Hailey herself, but the incredible CHEO staff. On our departure, we left behind a big gift basket filled with sweets and chocolates to make their shifts a bit better over the next few days, but nothing can truly compensate for what they did to save my little one's life. Such an incredible team of selfless and loving people I have never met. What they do is so hard, yet it makes such a massive difference.
Now, for the first time ever, we are back at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and I haven't had to go ANYWHERE for the last two days. It feels GREAT to just be here, in the moment. Later this week we begin the move back to our home in Kanata and by the weekend, we will finally be in our home. It will still be really hard, but it will be normal. Gawd I love the sound of that.
And who knows? Maybe I will be able to blog once in a blue moon, if all the stars align and I have a free moment.
Thanks to everyone for all their support, love, prayers and congratulations. What a ride!
Here are a few shots from our last day:
New socks for both Hailey and for Alex (outfits came later, but ultimately, Hailey ended up in a fresh sleeper. There was, uh, an incident, let's call it, with Grandpa on the scale which we were using as a change table...) Can you tell who is who?
Grandma in the isolation room (our 'hotel' room over the final three days where this Mom was trying to ensure Hailey got enough nourishment to grow and gain weight in order to go home).
Mommy holding Hailey just before her release.
Hailey loaded into her car seat for her first trip out of the hospital - the air is good there, but fresh is best!!!
Daddy ready to roll with both his little girls.
What all parents of CHEO babies pray for...
And when we got home, Mommy gave Hailey her first bath, then wrapped her in her duckie blanket. The heart melts...
Ahhh....
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