Slaphappy quiches and more breastfeeding woes

I want breakfast options...savoury breakfast options, and so this morning I quickly slapped together what I think are quiches.  No, folks, I have never made a quiche before - it's not my first choice - and I didn't have time to be painstaking.  Thus, I looked up 'quick quiche crust' online, slapped that together.  I doubled the recipe, ripped it in half, dumped it into a pan, and instead of rolling, pressed it into the pans.  I don't think I have enough dough (barely went up the sides) and it looked awful, but whatever, right?  Babies were fussing already in the playpen and I wanted to get it done!  Then, I 'guessed' at what the egg mixture should be, what the milk ratio oughtta be, and dumped a bunch of other ingredients in it.  Ham, asparagus, cheese, onion, mushroom and red pepper.  A real mashup. 

They are in the oven. I have no idea if they will work out.  Should be interesting.

Also interesting (or not, if you are sick of hearing about it) is the ongoing breastfeeding struggles.  Some days I wish I was just bottle feeding them.  Some days I hate breastfeeding. Some days I wish my baby hadn't been stuck in CHEO, stuck with so many tubes in her mouth, stuck until released to try learn to breastfeed after almost a month. And then other days I love breastfeeding.  As I've said before, it's the hardest job I have ever done.

Yes, I continue to struggle in two big areas.  One, I continue to have flow issues.  I don't have enough milk to satisfy my very voracious Alex, and certainly don't have enough left over for Hailey, whose suck is very light, very ineffectual, and who delatches if the letdown is too heavy, leaving Mommy to scramble and sop up the flowing milk pouring all over my clothes, the couch, the babies.  It's good times, I tell you.

And now, as you know from my last post, I have a baby who loves to hate breastfeeding. There's no telling if she will latch and when and for how long, and if she will instead freak out, crying that wailing "I'm so angry" way and beating her little fists against my breast.  It's NOT COOL when your baby is that upset. 

But still I persevere. And eat quiche. And ask for, and get, help.  Thank god for the help.  You are all fantastic resources and cheerleaders.

This morning, we had lovely skin-to-skin time in the ongoing effort to make this not only work, but make it enjoyable for all. It was lovely...pix to come.