A beautiful state of being

So yesterday we had our photo shoot to snap some great shots of this gorgantuan (like that? Cross between gorgeous and gargantuan) belly of mine at Baby and Belly photography.  Can't wait to see the finished shots, but have to say that I am moved deeply by this experience and so happy to have photographic documentation of what is the most incredible time of my life so far.  I'll never forget what being pregnant has been like, and I am already missing (in advance) housing these two little squirming ones inside of me.  Here's hoping they will hold on for the full 6 remaining weeks!!!

So, without further delay, here is a sampling:

Now THAT is a belly....and a family waiting to happen in just a very short time.  Gulp.

Shuffle shuffle piddle piddle

Ya know, when you reach this stage of pregnancy (and especially if you have two in there), I don't begrudge anyone who sniggers at me.  I seriously don't.  I look funny.  I move funny. I'm awkward. I grunt when I try to stand up, and I URGENTLY have to go pee like clockwork at a minimum every 2 hours throughout the night. 

Now granted, the relief I feel once 'relieved' is in no way directly proportionate to the amount I have expelled.  Nooooooo.  It's at best a trickle, people.  Or, as it were, a piddle.  Like a little puppy, really.  But immensely, immensely satisfying.

I'm even laughing at myself.  I caught sight of myself in a window at the General yesterday.  While just a rendering on a laptop touch pad (so, ya know, really rough), this is approximately what I saw when I looked sideways:

Shocking, when you just randomly catch site of yourself.  No wonder I catch my hubby doing double takes.  No wonder he can't help himself from the occasional chuckle.  And yes, no wonder I laugh at myself.  'Cause people, it's just funny!

BTW - Baby A is now 4lb 3oz and Baby B is 3lb 8oz (but likely heavier, as her abdomen measurement can skew their results) and we are at 33 weeks today.

Have a great weekend!

Am I in the Amazing Race for Preggos?

You'd think, with all the 'stuff' we've already had to deal with, that at the very least, I could get my home in order. You'd THINK.


I feel like thee must be hidden cameras and a host in the background of my life tuning in at all time to listen to my ideas for what we need, following me around from store to store, and each time I head in one direction, the producers are calling ahead to the store to remove items from their shelves, place out of stock stickers on their hooks or otherwise trip me up with lack of service or lack of product to fit my needs. Then, as I somewhat contentedly pull into my parking spot, struggle to get out of the car without groaning, and waddle toward the front doors, the host voiceover must say something along the lines of "We've placed another roadblock in her path. With her babies due very soon, and her house in shambles, let's see how she handles this latest setback..."

No well, my friends, not well. Patience is wearing extremely thin these days. As of Friday, I will be at 33 weeks. Yes, that's still 7 weeks to term for a normal pregnancy, but folks...nothin' about this pregnancy has been normal.

Oh, and although the drywallers were supposed to be here taping and mudding today, of COURSE they were on another job and didn't show. Of course. Each day that passes, I grind my teeth down further and look at the chaos around me with growing anxiety. I hate living like this!

Sorry, sorry...what brought this on? The discovery of the best way to hang the nursery photos, and trips to three separate stores to get the number of hanging apparati necessary. Got enough to hang about 30% at one store, then ran out, and the other stores are out of stock. Just like the floating shelves I wanted were out of stock at IKEA, and just like the backup floating shelves I wanted at Home Depot were out of stock. And the list goes on. Sigh.

But I'll get over it, and in the meantime, I am sure I won't win the race, 'cause I just don't have the disposition right now, but once they edit the footage, it'll be a highly amusing show, to be sure. Once I find out who's producing the show and when it will air, I will let you know when to tune in...

A mountain of generosity

Wow, what a fun weekend with some very special friends.  It all started off with a spa pedi and mani with a fabulous friend, project 'grey elimination' at my hair salon, and then my Friday shower - an after-work cocktail hour confection bringing together some of the fun, intelligent, exceptional women I have met through my recent years in my career.  All of them have become great friends. 

Saturday began with a nice, long, in-depth meeting with our doulas.  Some interesting troubleshooting happening with them, I have to say. Trying to consider all the various scenarios of how this birth will go, and how we wish to handle all the situations that might befall us, is interesting to say the least. I came away feeling excited about the possibilities, anxious about the outcomes, but secure in the knowledge that I have built up a great team around me to tackle all that may come our way. I have a number of detailed questions to ask the high-risk team at the General now that will help me know what is possible from their perspective, and I have some new resources to pursue to assist with other challenges I will have, such as breastfeeding and pumping challenges.

Then...another GREAT shower (the big one!) hosted by one of my longest and most dear friends, with help from a number of other key women in my life.  How does one express how important the deep-seated and invaluable friendships are to me?  I can't.  I really and truly can't.  Seeing women who have been my partying partners in crime, my sporty supports, my family for a lifetime, and friends of my husband who have become correspondingly essential additions to my posse portfolio all present to celebrate this crazy, exciting and transitory time in my life filled me with a sense of incredible gratitude, and a sense of how truly blessed I am. I love the thought and effort put into making the event special to me. I loved the banner made up for us that can be strung up to announce to the world of our great fortune. I loved my 'two peas in a pod' t-shirt that I will wear with pride as I parade around Ottawa shopping for last minute finishing touches to get ready for my little 'peas'. And I loved the laughter, the stories, the energy in the room.  And, ya know...the mountain of presents that kept coming and coming and coming!  I will never forget it, and I'm sure that the pictures, sure to be forwarded to me, won't LET me forget it!

And now?  Now, I sit here, writing a blog post, and staring at a living room rife with miniature goods, snuggly things, rattling gadgets and pretty little outfits ready to be washed, packed away or put on appropriate display. I have work to do.

What a lovely weekend. What wonderful people are all around me. What a wonderful life.

I can't wait to introduce two new lives into the mix.

I passed a test!

Of course, I failed the glucose test and now have 'class' every Wednesday afternoon all afternoon at the hospital re: controlling my gestational diabetes. And yes, that comes with a home testing kit for daily pricking (oh joy). 

But the test I most wanted to pass was the echocardiogram on the girls. And we did.  Finally, an appointment that didn't inspire a whole new set of appointments.  Hearing the words, "We likely don't need to see you again." was sweet nectar to this tired mommy-to-be. Both hearts look fine and the blood flow is excellent, and although Baby B's heart is squished and slightly displaced, it is doing a good job pumping life blood through her.  I just still have a very good feeling about all this.  I believe strongly that after all the tough times, the end result will be good for her.  But then again, I have to believe that for my sanity, don't I?

But yes. I think I've said before that I have never failed as many tests as I have during this pregnancy.  So nice to get a passing grade for a change!

Fantasy and reality - the week ahead

Just back from a late-nite jaunt to IKEA.  Hmmm...the evening of the first day school, university and other educational institutions = not the best night to go!  But that's okay, 'cause this Mommy to be has been scoping out her purchases for a while now.  Where did I get the energy?  From my afternoon NAP.  That's Z-Z-Z-Z folks, and it felt great.

Being off work is an odd feeling, but there is so much to do that I have a lot of distractions.  It was funny though that my first fully-formed thought this morning was of work and something I forgot to mention before I left!  I successfully avoided emailing and diving back in, though.  They will figure it out, right?

So this week.  I am thinking of it as a mix of fantasy and reality. Part of my week (see IKEA note above) will be spent in the dreamy, fun, highly expectant planning of the twins' arrival.  As I decorate the nursery and buy little odds and ends to finish things off, I will be imagining what it will be like to have them here, home, cuddling against me, blinking and waving their little fists...you know...the best of the best of times.

I will also be immersed in no less than three trips to the hospital for a barrage of tests and appointments.  This, of course, the reality. 

This morning was super fun....the dreaded glucose test.  And not the first one, nooooooo.....I FAILED that one, necessitating a second, more in depth and uncomfortable test (can I just say that throughout this pregnancy, I have failed more tests than in the rest of my life combined?) that requires 12 hours of fasting, then drinking a sickeningly sweet 75g of glucose orange syrup, then sitting for an hour, nauseous with the sugar, followed by a blood test, followed by another one hour wait and another blood test.  And no, you are not allowed to drink water, walk around or otherwise do anything other than sit.  I finally got to eat at about 12:45pm today.

The other appointments?  Our regular 2-week ultrasound and doctor appointment on Thursday, and then an in-depth fetal echocardiogram ultrasound at CHEO Friday to look for any issues with either of the twins' hearts. 

On the menu for Thursday is a discussion about induction, scheduled c-sections and all the planning to come.  After our meeting with the neonatologist last week, we discovered that it MIGHT be adviseable (contrary to the word that we had gotten from the doctors up to now) to schedule an induction.  This would guarantee all hands on deck at the precise moment we need them for Baby B's care. While the 'on call' system is apparently excellent, it would be best not to take chances.  BUT the dilemma for me is that I want to take both babies as far as possible in gestation, so...when to schedule this?  Toss in the fact that these two little goobers have been breech for most of the last three months, and the focus on inducing labour might be a moot discussion, and a scheduled C necessary.  I'm resigned to this possibility (while still hopeful that vaginal delivery could still happen) and see the potential pluses to this, not the least of which being the fact that a scheduled C would be the least tiring of the options, allowing Mom and Dad to cope a bit better with the stress of what is to come after the babies arrive.  So...yeah...I want to have a good discussion about what we might wish to do moving forward.

The echocardiogram is being conducted both as preventative but also because babies with CDH can often have issues with their heart, due to displacement and pressure.  From what I understand, having all those organs squished up there in that small space means the heart is pushed to the side to make room, and it can affect the blood pressure/flow and also the development of the heart.  We are hopeful that nothing is amiss...

Aaaaand....basement renos continue.  On the menu tomorrow/Thursday is framing to prepare for the electrician.  Looking forward to having this come together also.  Kinda tired of living in chaos in various parts of the house.  Will be nice to have double the living space soon...when this is done, I can have some fun decorating and designing the playroom space down there.  More fantasy and imagining...

And meanwhile?  The babies continue to play trampoline with my bladder and paddy-cakes through the belly with Mommy. 

Love.

Closer - Not just a Nine Inch Nails song

We must be getting close - we are filling out our pre-admission forms for the hospital to hand in tomorrow. Friday marks the 30th week, and although I am hoping to take my little goobers as far as possible, a standard delivery 'full term' for twins is 36 weeks.  So..yeah...getting closer.

Tomorrow is our meeting with the neonatologist.  We plan to sit down tonight to organize our thoughts and write down all the questions we want to ask.  So many questions!  I just hope that this will be a fairly interactive session with a lot of dialogue to help us prepare mentally for how this is all going to go down (in consideration of the various scenarios, of course).  In situations like this (and let's face it, in general), I crave information to calm me down, give me a sense of control (ha!)...

It's funny, too, because I also feel better the more I focus on this whole 'nesting' thing, and come up with solutions to help me better deal with what is to come.  For instance, I recently gave some thought to how we might best cope with having one healthy baby with us and another in CHEO.  We live clear across town, and particularly if I am breastfeeding, baby A will need to be with us, and likely both of us, as we traipse to the hospital for visits.  Tomorrow we hope to find out about possible stays in Rogers House, or with my parents, or whatever, but I realized that it would be great to order and have the bassinet attachment for our stroller.  This way, we have a portable bed for wherever we find ourselves, and it might help us extend our time at the hospital too.  It's a really small thing, but it made me feel more organized against the chaos to come.

Friday is also my last day of work.  This will both take a lot of time pressure off me, but also make me feel like we're closer to the amazing race day.  I can't wait to focus full-time on preparation of the house, the clothes and supplies, and my mental state to get ready for this...

Oh, and a blog post is to come re: cloth diapering.  I need your input and guidance, my mothering friends!