Wednesday, March 30, 2011

39 for the first time (Alternate Title: Mommy tummy time)

So this is it, then.  Turning 39 for the first time tomorrow. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't really focus on age and also don't really care how old I am.  HOWEVER. For the first time in my life, I am really feeling my age.  No. Feeling older than my age. I can't do what I want to do.  I am physically incapable of doing what I used to do a short time ago. It's upsetting, and it needs to be addressed. Now.

Now, I know that I had twins just 5 months ago, and in the last two years, I was pregnant four times.  And yes, I have had many tell me that it takes at least 9 months to recover from 9 months of carrying a child. Just as many have also tacked on: "YOU had TWINS."  And a great little book I try to find time to read, Juggling Twins, had the following uplifting statement to make about that:

"Dragging your leftover weight around as those babies move through months and milestones feels a bit unfair, and it may be harder for you to see your cottage-cheesy bum as a heroic player in your kids' well-being. But it is. Well, it was, anyway. Try not to think of yourself as fat, but rather as still in the process of becoming unpregnant."

BUT.  I just can't worry anymore about whether or not this tummy is permanent. I want OUT of my maternity clothes. I HATE wearing granny panties, but anything else just rolls when I bend over (kinda like those party noisemakers - you know the ones.  Every time I adjust the material up, all it takes is a little movement and WHOOOP, it rolls back down. Right on top of my c-section scar, too, to add insult to injury). And not just ANY grannies.  Nooooo.  Size 2x ones!  Egad!  No WONDER I nearly squeel with surprise every time I catch sight of myself naked in the vanity mirror.  Vanity?  Hell no - I just wanna get rid of this weird deformed belly button, my friends!!!

So.  Losing it in Ottawa, here I come.  Who else is out there looking to start to shed some unwanted lumpy cheese?  Are there other mommies about to start, like I am, to take one foot and put it in front of the other? Want to connect on Twitter, create a hashtag, or just share our journey?  Who's got some fun apps for the iPhone to recommend?

Look for more details on what I plan to do, expect some gruesome photos to hopefully inspire a big 'after' reveal, since I will be HIGHLY motivated to erase all memory (yours and mine) of my appearance from this journal, and follow as I toss in some recipes, tips and whatever frustrations I have as I try 'transform' before my 40th birthday. 

Last time I did this?  It only took me 3 or 4 months.  This time around, with two stunningly cute and dependent babies to prioritize, it will take longer.  Think 12 months oughtta do it...

And hopefully by next year around this time? I'll be proud to say I am turning 40.  'Cause I'll have the body of a...hmmm....34? 36? 29 year old?  Whatever. 

All I know is I will be able to wear some lacy, frilly, satiny, thongy slice of fabric again. Without noisemakers.


  1. I hear what you are saying girl. I hate myself right now. My gym membership is paid and ready to go but for what ever reason I am waiting for that perfect moment of motivation to lace up my shoes and head out the door. I hate being away from the family and I have huge guilt issues spending ME time...which results in wrong food choices. I know it...that's the first step right?

    You will do great!

  2. Pregnant 4 times in 2 years? WOW!

    Good luck with the weight loss! Seems like your goals are quite reasonable. I'm sure you'll do great and will happily celebrate your 40th bday next year.

  3. First, sorry I missed your special day! Happy 39th and congratulations! You are an amazing mom! As for the weight loss, I feel your pain. Yes, my battle may be shorter, but it's still not easy. I will recommend getting a new pair of jeans or two, in your current size. It is just super nice to be out of maternity clothes, even if you're not back to your former size.
    And about breastfeeding - you have gone above and beyond and your girls are blessed for it. I did trade in my hospital grade pump for the medela double electric, but of course at this point, it probably doesn't make sense for you to change. It may get easier when the girls start eating solids. It's such a lie that breastfeeding helps you to lose weight! Again, it's only for a short time, right? And I'm sure by the time you're 40, you'll have the body of a 30 year old again, right? At least a 30 year old mom of twins!! I'm with you all the way girl!

  4. Thanks everyone - I'm motivated to get out there and try to eat much healthier, so we'll see what comes of it. I'll be posting a lot about my progress as I go, and hopefully that is what it will be - progress!!!

  5. pam - -good for you ---i think you loook great, in my opinion but all for getting your mojo back! i wish i had motivation but losing it ottawa didnt kick me into high gear...not sure what will! 5k race in May bears my name amongst registered runners and i start training tomorrow!!